Words of validation are compliments that show a man how much you value him. They’re powerful when they come from the heart and sound natural.
Many women seek validation from men for various reasons. They might feel that their worth depends on what a man thinks of them or they might believe that men are the only ones who can understand them.
- You’re capable
Seeking validation from men is one of the most common ways that women and genderqueers let their self-worth be determined by someone else. It can be anything from seeking compliments or sexual attention from men to coddling male colleagues in order to rise in the workplace. It can be hard to resist the pull of male validation, especially in a societal system that often promotes patriarchy and gendered norms.
Rather than allowing your ego to be controlled by men, seek fulfillment on your own. Set goals for yourself that don’t involve him, like learning a new skill or taking on a challenge that feels out of your comfort zone. You’ll soon find that you don’t need his validation to feel worthwhile. You’re capable of being a man.
- You’re in my thoughts
In many workplaces, women are often told their worth is based on what men think of them. This type of “masculine validation” can be harmful to a woman’s self-worth, because it trains her to value herself based on external factors rather than her own inner strength.
Validating someone by getting into their experience, identifying the emotion they are feeling and offering justification for it is powerful. It communicates that the feelings matter and they are heard, which can help to create a safe space for communication.
For example, if you tell your partner you are feeling crazy, you can follow it with something like, “I would feel the same way.” It’s simple but effective. You will both be able to understand each other better.
- I love you
The way a man shows love is often through action. He may buy you a special gift or take you somewhere new and exciting, but sometimes he can express love in the most simple ways. For example, taking you home to meet his family or close friends is a big sign that he cares for you and wants you in his life.
Seeking validation from men is common for many reasons. Perhaps you grew up hearing that your worth is dependent on a man’s opinions or maybe you haven’t found fulfillment in anything else. Either way, the key to breaking this cycle is identifying why you seek male validation and replacing it with goals that make you happy outside of your relationships with men.
- You’re my hero
Men need to feel needed and respected in their relationships. Showing appreciation for his efforts can make him feel this way, especially when it’s little things like helping you zip up a dress or changing your tire.
Seeking male validation can be dangerous to your self-esteem because it can cause you to lose sight of yourself and start valuing yourself based on what others think of you, which is not sustainable. Try to find life goals and passion projects that will help you to focus on yourself instead of seeking validation from men.
It also helps to stop listening to messages that shoot down masculinity as it’s a big part of who men are. Instead, support them by validating their feelings. It’s a powerful way to connect with each other.
- You’re my best friend
Men are taught to be competitors, which means that they’re often reluctant to show emotion – even amongst friends. Having a male best friend is like a Rosetta stone for the labyrinthine ways of dude-speak, and it opens doors to social worlds that would otherwise be as impenetrable as Fort Knox.
You’ll spend a lot of time correcting people’s perceptions of your relationship and answering super invasive questions. But it’s worth it – your guy bestie is the kind of person that you can’t imagine life without. He’s always there, for whatever you need. That’s what makes him a true friend. And that’s something that should never be taken lightly.words of validation for men